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it's been weird

the past few months well, i don't know
i saw myself back in the bed of my first and he felt like a stranger but i needed the strain
i saw myself blurry through the smoke in the mirrors, purple light around me, someone new by my side, chugging wine from the bottle and holding a cigar
i saw myself in pain and taking sleeping pills
i saw myself walking under the sunlight thinking here, this is it
i now carry a mark on my side, and memories that make me laugh
i picked up people in the way and dropped a few behind, i call it balance
my phone's storage is full because school, work and boys, you never know what's gonna show up on my screen when it rings, and that's a healthy variety
i don't think i have anything to hide, just don't look if you don't want to see because it's all out there, i'm always all of me
i feel so the same and nothing like i used to be all at the same time, like i've never been better and also like i may be reaching new lows
so stay tuned, we'll see which way it flows

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