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you still owe me

I reckon it's ok and that I've moved on, I don't think of you in the regular although sometimes your name escapes my lips and I have to catch myself before someone else does.
And I still avoid your street. I can see your window from basically every balcony of this town, but then I remember standing there crying at 5 AM and the pain lessens, because none of this feels as bad as that hurt.
The time we spent together and the time I wish we would've spent taught me I should not pursue people I don't really like.
But there's one thorn on my side that I can't get over yet. Look, I suppose I wish you well and all, but you owe me,
the months I cried for you
the energy I put into trying to fix this
the horrible things you said to me because you were 'in a bad mood'
the pain of never knowing where we stood
the sleepless nights wondering why.

I'll be by the mailbox waiting for that check.

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